MOAR Lousy Boxing: Detroit, MI 9/19/08

Cornelius Bundridge and an annoying white man announce this card full of crappy mismatches featuring Darryl Cunningham and Rich "White" Power. Power's opponent is described by Bundridge as "looking like the Big Show". Hmmm. Cunningham is fighting a victim of Tavoris Cloud and former K.I.C.K. kickboxing champ in the main event.

----LARRY VENTUS (3-0) vs. ERIC RICKER (DEBUT): 4 Rounder in the 140 lb weight class.

SCORECARD: KO Rnd 2

Ricker is probably a natural featherweight, honestly. He's small for these guys. Lots of head movement on his part and some Hamed like power punching. He actually hurts Ventus in round 2, but apparently Ricker's never been hit to the body. Some uppercuts land to the kidney and he can't take them. Fight is stopped in round 2.

----JAMES LESTER JR. (4-2) vs. RAMON GUEVARA (8-17-2): Lightweights. Lester was 6-2 when I last saw him. So, lemme guess what happens here....

SCORECARD: Lester KO 3

Guevara is going for pressure and Lester is superior as a boxer, so its an interesting stylistic matchup in that sense. Guevara is a much bigger guy overall, and he's actually somewhat effective for much of the first two rounds and even the early part of the third, but Lester switches gears and begins tearing up Guevara with combination punching and the fight is stopped. The announcers are trying to sell it as a great war, but, c'mon. Lester was a decent amateur and Guevara is a low end journeyman.

----ANDREW GORGES (2-0) vs. JAMAL KHAN (0-3): 140lbers

SCORECARD: Gorges KO 1

Khan is hopeless. Gorges lands everything he throws. Quality midwestern matchmaking.

----DAN WALLACE (9-5) vs. ALEXIS HLOROS (6-2-2): Middleweights. Hloros ain't too bad.

SCORECARD: Hloros TKO 6

Wallace is trying to be all slick and stuff but he's not really good enough to pull it off. He just looks like a sloppy James Toney wannabe instead. Hloros is more or less orthodox and, guess what? He's landing the effective blows. Wallace has heart and not much else. That Hloros can land super clean over and over and not drop Wallace after 5 is amazing. The ref finally steps in during the 6th to end this charade after Wallace finally goes down.

----RICH POWER (2-0) vs. TONY PHILLIPS (4-5): Well, I actually skipped ahead and had watched this several weeks ago. I mean, hey, an undefeated heavyweight? That's my bag! Power is kinda, well, not good. Mike Mollo #2.

SCORECARD: Power KO 1

Phillips almost went over the top rope as he got smashed up with power shots. Phillips was pathetic.

----DARRYL CUNNINGHAM vs. DOUGLAS LAFONTSEE: MAIN EVENT~

SCORECARD: Cunningham TKO 4

Cunningham is a octopus inside. I mean he is getting beat up by a karate based kickboxer there in the second. Lafontsee spits out the mouthpiece to get some extra time in the third when he's knocked down by a hard right hand, but he's gassed. Cunningham reacts by just running at him and being wild, and he's utterly ineffective in terms of finishing him. The fight slows down again and Lafontsee is hurt by a knockdown and he gets a standing 8 card or something? I have no idea. The fight goes to a fourth round, which surprises me greatly. Lafontsee starts leading with the head, the ref goes to warn him, and then decides he's too hurt to continue? What the fuck?

Stuff from SNY: w/Glen Johnson!

Shobox announce team in effect for Dibella's desperation boxing programming.

Carlos Diaz (10-15-4) vs. Dat Nguyen (13-1): Nguyen was a hot prospect on ESPN once. Once. Featherweights.

SCORECARD: 79-73 Nguyen

Nguyen lands a overhand right early and I'm thinking this is probably not gonna last too long. Diaz is 7 1/2 years removed from his last win? Yikes. BTW, most interesting thing about this fight: its "Bam Bam" vs. "Dat's Dat". Oh I crack myself up. The announce tema would like to remind you that while Diaz has lost all his fights in the last 5 years, at least they were to good fighters. Diaz's problem is that while he's bigger, he is slow enough to be timed with a sundial and wide open when he throws. He squares up when he's on the run, his defense is so bad. 

Wild brawl when the second opens and its kidna fun to watch. Then it slows back down to where it was with Nguyen landing a lot of punches and none of them really affect Ruiz. Nguyen is able to be punched by the lesser fighter, but Ruiz doesn't have the sort of pop to keep Nguyen off him. He's cut badly in the third round of the fight, but Nguyen doesn't jump on him while Ruiz is standing around squinting, leading to some criticism of his killer instinct. In fact, as the 4th continues on, they note that Nguyen's balance is off, he's not body punching enough, he's not snapping his jab, and a rash of other issues. Diaz actually lands a decent left hook that wobbles the prospect but he ends up backing off. Nguyen's defense is abyssmal, and as his hands have slowed down, offense as best defense isn't a working strategy. Diaz miraculously wins the round.

The bout marches on and Diaz isn't any more effective because the slaps from his smaller opponent have been enough to slow him as well. The fight devolves into a sloppy mess of tangled fists and clinching. Some shining hope before Round 7 that the fight is over due to the cut, but I and the 500 people or so watching at the Hard Rock in FL aren't so lucky. Diaz is begging to be stopped, but Nguyen doesn't even really try. He lands a couple shots, pushes him into the ropes, and then moves away, allowing Diaz to retake the center of the ring. This fight goes an unfathomable 8 rounds, with Nguyen not showing the panache or the power to put away a man desperately wanting to be KOed. Diaz hilariously lands the best punch of the 8th with the only punch he lands. Unanimous decision for Nguyen.

Sebastian Hamel (8-14-1) vs. Kenny Galarza (7-0): Galarza is undefeated with all KOs. Hamel lost his last fight by first round KO.

Galarza is looking for power punches but isn't setting them up, really. Hamel is looking to run. This is going to be the story of the fight, I'm sure. The whole first round is abjectly boring and barely watchable. The pace continues at this rate and the crowd is booing. This lasts the whole second round, but Hamel is dropped hard at the very end of the second with a single left hook and survives the longest 10 count in history. The fight is stopped by the doctor in between rounds. Galarza looks horrible.

Glen Johnson vs. Aaron Norwood (26-10-2): Whoo boy. Norwood is the rare older than Glen Johnson opponent.

Johnson starts in the first with some soft sparring. I mean, you can tell that is what Glen is after early on because he is fighting a slow old guy and isn't pressuring him at all. Again, more of that in the second with Glen only throwing the occasional hard shot and not really following up. Towards the end of the third, Glen begins to pour it on, and he decides to end it in the fourth. Nothing really to see.

BOXEO - Something that was on Fox Sports En Espanol

This was sitting on my DVR and I'm like "hey what the fuck". Pavel Miranda vs. Alex Viramonte! Thompson Promotions! Corona, CA! I know nothing about either guy. Welterweights? Viramonte is like 9-5-3. What the hell is this doing on TV? Miranda is 18-1. Oh boy.

SCORECARD: 78-72 Miranda

Viramonte walks forward and is a sucker for body punches. He ceases being the aggressor after a minute or so. Miranda is throwing right hand leads, and my expectation is that I will get to see another fight on this one hour show.  Viramonte again comes forward in round 2 and again eats lots of offense. Like, consistently. Everything thrown seems to land. If Miranda shows any negatives in this fight, its that he is way too willing to fight inside. Not that Viramonte can do anything about it, but someone who is better very easily could. He's actually a lousy inside fighter, to be honest. 

Viramonte looks more impressive in the 3rd than in prior rounds because he is landing some slappy punches. He is still being outlanded 2-1, if not worse. But because Miranda is letting him inside so easily, he's getting the shots off to possibly land. Viramonte actually gets off a few power shots in a row in the 4th to start with. Is Miranda gassed? His mouth keeps opening, so I suppose that answers that. Viramonte is about as willing to clinch on the inside too now. I hope this is only a 6 rounder. 

Round 5! I am surprised to be here. Viramonte is inside but now he is inactive there and eating uppercuts. Miranda seems to have a problem: He can't punch. I mean, he's more accurate and better trained and stuff, but he can't crack. No pop. That's all that keeps Viramonte in this. He's actually cutting off the ring well (because Miranda now cannot move) and throws some hooks when he does get him against the ropes. Miranda usually counters though and spins off before the episode repeats itself. I've got it 49-46 after 5.

In Round 6 Miranda continues to back straight up, continues to land better punches, continues to....you know. Round 7 and Miranda is bleeding from the nose! Exciting! He is still landing better shots but he is immobile and letting Viramonte in this in the 8th. Miranda is hurt halfway through by a flurry against the ropes and keeps on him for most of the round. Too bad he lost the fight. Somehow this is a split decision and Miranda gets the nod.